Skeptic Faith
Relentless questioning grows tiresome. I sometimes wonder if I'm being too skeptical, if I'm lacking in faith, if I've become too rational or arrogant or stubborn or cold or hard to find the Truth I'm so actively pursuing.
I'm often told I have. The idea of throwing away pieces of standard Christian teaching because I think they're wrong seems repulsive at first. I hate it when people tell me I'm valuing my own thoughts above God's, because I often fear that it's true. The drawing boards and blueprints of my mind come out again to reform, but every time, it comes down to this: that it's necessary to put forth every effort you can to discover what God's thoughts are before falling back on what you think God's thoughts are. It's necessary to make sure you haven't misunderstood. Trusting in what might be no more than your own understanding is arrogant faithlessness, if anything is.
If I'm throwing away pieces of standard Christian teaching, it isn't done out of faithlessness. There is a lot more studying to be done on the nature of the Bible, the culture in which it was written, the spirit in which it was made, and how what was written should be read in the light of these things. There is a big difference between studying the things Jesus did and studying the nature of the man who did them. We, as humans, can understand an observation of the places he went and the things he seemed to do. Any competent human being can understand the report of some guy walking up to a lame man, talking to him, and telling him to get up. We may not understand how the hell he actually did manage to get the guy to start walking again, but if we're going to believe that the reporters weren't lying, the "how" must be taken by faith. There is no more research to be done on that part. We can't know any more than what we already know; we couldn't if we'd been there ourselves. Sure, things like miracles are often difficult for me, and for many, to believe. There might have been some things we could understand better had the the people at the time understood them and written them down. But they didn't and it wasn't, so whether or not it would actually have been more explainable, I choose to believe it as it's written because there is no other way to believe it. All paths have been considered and this is the only way we have if we're going to use the Bible. For now, we have no choice but to be stumped. Eventually, it comes down to faith. But it needs to be worked down to there. It should be thought about, struggled with, mulled over with an open mind. But faith? When it has come down to faith, everything must be thrown to the wind without another thought, as if we're little kids; the entire process needs to be conducted with that reckless, childish abandon. It's difficult that way, but we're meant to be stretched. And in my mind, there is no other way to pursue the Truth.
I'm often told I have. The idea of throwing away pieces of standard Christian teaching because I think they're wrong seems repulsive at first. I hate it when people tell me I'm valuing my own thoughts above God's, because I often fear that it's true. The drawing boards and blueprints of my mind come out again to reform, but every time, it comes down to this: that it's necessary to put forth every effort you can to discover what God's thoughts are before falling back on what you think God's thoughts are. It's necessary to make sure you haven't misunderstood. Trusting in what might be no more than your own understanding is arrogant faithlessness, if anything is.
If I'm throwing away pieces of standard Christian teaching, it isn't done out of faithlessness. There is a lot more studying to be done on the nature of the Bible, the culture in which it was written, the spirit in which it was made, and how what was written should be read in the light of these things. There is a big difference between studying the things Jesus did and studying the nature of the man who did them. We, as humans, can understand an observation of the places he went and the things he seemed to do. Any competent human being can understand the report of some guy walking up to a lame man, talking to him, and telling him to get up. We may not understand how the hell he actually did manage to get the guy to start walking again, but if we're going to believe that the reporters weren't lying, the "how" must be taken by faith. There is no more research to be done on that part. We can't know any more than what we already know; we couldn't if we'd been there ourselves. Sure, things like miracles are often difficult for me, and for many, to believe. There might have been some things we could understand better had the the people at the time understood them and written them down. But they didn't and it wasn't, so whether or not it would actually have been more explainable, I choose to believe it as it's written because there is no other way to believe it. All paths have been considered and this is the only way we have if we're going to use the Bible. For now, we have no choice but to be stumped. Eventually, it comes down to faith. But it needs to be worked down to there. It should be thought about, struggled with, mulled over with an open mind. But faith? When it has come down to faith, everything must be thrown to the wind without another thought, as if we're little kids; the entire process needs to be conducted with that reckless, childish abandon. It's difficult that way, but we're meant to be stretched. And in my mind, there is no other way to pursue the Truth.
And NOW what would Ellie say?
ReplyDeleteI don't know, but I was thinking the same thing while writing this, and I'd like to hear it. How bout we send her a link? XD
ReplyDeleteSo I have two questions:
ReplyDelete1) What "standard pieces of Christian teaching" are you throwing away that you think makes your questioning so bad?
2)do you think reason and faith stand in such stark contrasts that they do not mutually inform one another?
When I say "standard," I mean what I, in my sheltered 16-year-old life, have never heard negated. Statements like, we should pray every waking moment of our lives. Or that we should do things that were at some time or other commended in the Bible. That we should be desperately looking for "God-sightings" until we find one to 'praise' God for. That the Bible is the ultimate, if not exhaustive, gift from God to us. I don't know many people that would agree that we should regard the Bible only as a book which allows us to remember what Christianity started out as, so that we don't run away with our own stupid new ideas all the time, not as a book authored word-for-word by God's own hand. My reflex is to think it's "bad" because my thoughts would be- and have been- shunned as heretical by many.
ReplyDelete2. No, generally one uses reason to find faith and uses faith to reason. In this blog I meant blind faith; faith involving no reason, the "leap of faith" people sometimes talk about.
1) Most of the things you mention here, if not all of them, have been disputed by Christians for centuries. But I would like to hear more about what your view of scripture is?
ReplyDelete2) I would like to focus in on this one a bit too. You have named reason your guiding light, in essence. Second, is there ever reason that does not require faith of somekind?
1. I believe it. I probably am not smart enough to come up with something that no one has thought of for two thousand years. But I don't know many people, if any, that agree with me on many points, nor was I taught these things by some scholar who is a part of this disputing-for-centuries.
ReplyDeleteMy view on scripture is largely expanded on in the two blogs I wrote in May entitled Epiphany I & II.
2. Reason guides me every bit as much as emotion does. They are both influencing factors in my actions and decisions.
Either one must have faith in reason itself or in something that motivates that reason (such as God).