Fun.
Today I was so fortunate, so blessed, so lucky to have been able to witness history happen. Not that history isn't made constantly, but sometimes it seems to move in leaps and bounds, and sometimes signposts pop up that make you simply marvel at the fact that you are where you are on the journey. Calvin College hosted the band Fun. tonight: both Fun.'s and Calvin's biggest concert to date. There were a lot of people, and it was full of energy and anticipation - some people started lining up literally ten or twelve hours before we got let in. My heart is full, now, with my ears buzzing ever so slightly as I write in the aftermath.
I'll be honest: I knew basically nothing about Fun. only a couple weeks ago. I heard something that intrigued me when their song We Are Young got analyzed as part of "cultural discernment" in our Prelude class, and a couple songs of theirs were freakishly overplayed, but that's basically all the exposure I had. I decided rather on a whim to go to our floor's CD's (cultural discerner... it's a thing) little education and listening event for Fun., and then to go to an interview a few hours before the concert, and then to buy a ticket from someone in my choir that couldn't go anymore. And then I kind of randomly found out that a student group I'm part of had been invited to free Ben&Jerry's ice cream, an exclusive invitation to the soundcheck, and the opportunity to meet the band and take a picture with them. It's been a bit of a whirlwind.
There were a lot of people at this concert. At the interview/conversation session beforehand, Fun. mentioned that this was their largest concert ever, and asked how many people there'd be. The interviewer responded, "About 5000." Abandoning previous efforts to stay "clean" for the interview, he let out a very emphatic "OH SHIT," followed by rabid applause. It was a good foreshadowing of the night to come. Their crowd was extremely enthusiastic, if not... erm... very locomotive, if you will. It was honestly a little creepy to look over the sea of heads and see not more than a couple people with their arms in the air and pretty much no one moving, for minutes on end. But somehow, you could feel the intensity of concentration and engagement oozing from the crowd onto the stage, as if they were all getting ready to respond to what was said. It was very different than anything I've experienced at a concert, but it was interesting for that reason.
I could speak about the music: I genuinely enjoy it. It's got fascinating and very obvious influences, from Hip Hop to Queen to 90's Indie Rock. They use a lot of keyboard, and I'm obsessed with keyboards, so that was pretty awesome. I think they're actually better live than recorded. It was great to be there, if only for the music. But that is not why this was an amazing concert.
The place was swarming with hipsters. (No, that's not why it was amazing, either... Hold on, I'll get to that part.) I think people dressed up for the occasion, 'cause most of those people were Calvin people, and I don't usually see that many hipsters on campus. A lot of people hate hipsters, but they make my heart warm and fuzzy. Hipsters have the right stuff in mind. When they're not too arrogant, cynical, or rude, they have such interesting, raw, authentic thoughts. As far as social groups go, it really is a relatively free group of people; there's a lot more room for individuality than in cliques like, say, the classic "emo" or "goth" or "punk" or "skater" or "nerd" or "prep" boxes these people fit into in middle and high school. The fashion has this incredible versatility in terms of gender presentation: you can have that huge awesome beard, gages, piercings, be really big and muscular, wear your flannel and even straight jeans if you pair them with converse or something, and be a masculine hipster. You can also wear eccentric heels, do your hair in all kinds of weird curly ways, wear inordinate amounts of lace, and be obsessed with long, flowy skirts, and be extremely hipster. But on top of that, there's this great ambiguous ground ruled by skinny jeans, moccasins, boots, scarves, V-necks, and mop-top hair that can be entirely androgynous, to whatever varying degree of femininity and masculinity you want. I am fascinated by the way this fashion reflects the generation: a complete romanticization of the 70s - and even the first half of the 20th century - but with a progressive bent that will stop for nothing. They like to read, they like to think, they're very frank, they like to challenge norms and authority, but they tend to be pretty "chill." They're naïve and active and passionate, just like our parents when they were teenagers in the 70s.
The last concert I attended was the Calvin Alumni Choir. It's one of five choirs at Calvin, and it's easily as big as the others. The place was full enough of old people that I would've felt out of place if I hadn't been required to go as part of my choir. The concert I attended before that was Hildegarde, and the one before that was classical guitar. They were all overflowing with old people, over the age of 60. I sing in a choir full of old people, such that the conductor coaxes emotion out of us by having us think about the birth of our grandchildren, and such things. Calvin has a freakishly strong alumni population, and they adore Calvin. They donate absurd amounts of money, they give scholarships worth several thousand dollars to incoming freshman, they frequently come back for lectures, they actually read newsletters, they bribe their children and grandchildren and great-grandchildren with large sums of money to go here. They are also first, second, and third-generation Kuyperian Calvinists. They are kind, but they are strict; they are very rational, but they are also very, very firm about what they believe - and what they don't.
You might imagine that there would be quite a bit of tension between Calvin's youth and elderly population, and in a sense, there is, a bit. There's a fairly substantial chunk of students here hiding from their families a little, trying not to let them quite realize they swear, drink, smoke, and think about such ridiculous things as Marxism and feminism and homosexuality. Oh, and that they're not at all in line with Calvinist theology, at all. But they remain part of the CRC, because the CRC's such a huge part of their heritage. These kids don't hate their families. They also don't just want to keep from upsetting ol' Grannie for monetary reasons. It seems that they'd rather put up a bit of a facade so that they can simultaneously keep peace in the family and be who they are. The thing is, individuals can pretend. Institutions cannot.
What you should imagine, instead of tension between the youth and the elderly, is the tension between Calvin's administration and all the people they have to reconcile to one another, and then prove that reconciliation through official policy decisions. It's freaking incredible what this administration manages to do. They move notoriously slowly, but if they moved any faster, it would be disrespectful. I am continually and increasingly awed by the insane balance Calvin manages to find on controversial matters. If you recall, I'm kind of obsessed with controversy.
If you'll recall: last night, there was a huge Fun. concert in the campus gym, fully sponsored and recommended by the college. We sang songs about "having sex with whoever the fuck you want" - so they introduced it - we sang songs about partying and getting high and drunk. But that seemed pretty innocuous. Most people know what they believe about those things. It was a different piece of the concert that stood out to me.
I've been beating around the bush because I want to generate an accurate sense of the incredible paradox happening in that building. Because on top of all of this, Fun. had an agenda behind this tour: Marriage Equality. And that, my friends, is what made this entire experience one of the most amazing cultural landmarks I have ever yet seen.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
I could speak about the music: I genuinely enjoy it. It's got fascinating and very obvious influences, from Hip Hop to Queen to 90's Indie Rock. They use a lot of keyboard, and I'm obsessed with keyboards, so that was pretty awesome. I think they're actually better live than recorded. It was great to be there, if only for the music. But that is not why this was an amazing concert.
The place was swarming with hipsters. (No, that's not why it was amazing, either... Hold on, I'll get to that part.) I think people dressed up for the occasion, 'cause most of those people were Calvin people, and I don't usually see that many hipsters on campus. A lot of people hate hipsters, but they make my heart warm and fuzzy. Hipsters have the right stuff in mind. When they're not too arrogant, cynical, or rude, they have such interesting, raw, authentic thoughts. As far as social groups go, it really is a relatively free group of people; there's a lot more room for individuality than in cliques like, say, the classic "emo" or "goth" or "punk" or "skater" or "nerd" or "prep" boxes these people fit into in middle and high school. The fashion has this incredible versatility in terms of gender presentation: you can have that huge awesome beard, gages, piercings, be really big and muscular, wear your flannel and even straight jeans if you pair them with converse or something, and be a masculine hipster. You can also wear eccentric heels, do your hair in all kinds of weird curly ways, wear inordinate amounts of lace, and be obsessed with long, flowy skirts, and be extremely hipster. But on top of that, there's this great ambiguous ground ruled by skinny jeans, moccasins, boots, scarves, V-necks, and mop-top hair that can be entirely androgynous, to whatever varying degree of femininity and masculinity you want. I am fascinated by the way this fashion reflects the generation: a complete romanticization of the 70s - and even the first half of the 20th century - but with a progressive bent that will stop for nothing. They like to read, they like to think, they're very frank, they like to challenge norms and authority, but they tend to be pretty "chill." They're naïve and active and passionate, just like our parents when they were teenagers in the 70s.
The last concert I attended was the Calvin Alumni Choir. It's one of five choirs at Calvin, and it's easily as big as the others. The place was full enough of old people that I would've felt out of place if I hadn't been required to go as part of my choir. The concert I attended before that was Hildegarde, and the one before that was classical guitar. They were all overflowing with old people, over the age of 60. I sing in a choir full of old people, such that the conductor coaxes emotion out of us by having us think about the birth of our grandchildren, and such things. Calvin has a freakishly strong alumni population, and they adore Calvin. They donate absurd amounts of money, they give scholarships worth several thousand dollars to incoming freshman, they frequently come back for lectures, they actually read newsletters, they bribe their children and grandchildren and great-grandchildren with large sums of money to go here. They are also first, second, and third-generation Kuyperian Calvinists. They are kind, but they are strict; they are very rational, but they are also very, very firm about what they believe - and what they don't.
You might imagine that there would be quite a bit of tension between Calvin's youth and elderly population, and in a sense, there is, a bit. There's a fairly substantial chunk of students here hiding from their families a little, trying not to let them quite realize they swear, drink, smoke, and think about such ridiculous things as Marxism and feminism and homosexuality. Oh, and that they're not at all in line with Calvinist theology, at all. But they remain part of the CRC, because the CRC's such a huge part of their heritage. These kids don't hate their families. They also don't just want to keep from upsetting ol' Grannie for monetary reasons. It seems that they'd rather put up a bit of a facade so that they can simultaneously keep peace in the family and be who they are. The thing is, individuals can pretend. Institutions cannot.
What you should imagine, instead of tension between the youth and the elderly, is the tension between Calvin's administration and all the people they have to reconcile to one another, and then prove that reconciliation through official policy decisions. It's freaking incredible what this administration manages to do. They move notoriously slowly, but if they moved any faster, it would be disrespectful. I am continually and increasingly awed by the insane balance Calvin manages to find on controversial matters. If you recall, I'm kind of obsessed with controversy.
If you'll recall: last night, there was a huge Fun. concert in the campus gym, fully sponsored and recommended by the college. We sang songs about "having sex with whoever the fuck you want" - so they introduced it - we sang songs about partying and getting high and drunk. But that seemed pretty innocuous. Most people know what they believe about those things. It was a different piece of the concert that stood out to me.
I've been beating around the bush because I want to generate an accurate sense of the incredible paradox happening in that building. Because on top of all of this, Fun. had an agenda behind this tour: Marriage Equality. And that, my friends, is what made this entire experience one of the most amazing cultural landmarks I have ever yet seen.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Half a year ago, I did not even feel comfortable publishing anything having to do with LGBT or gender issues on this blog because I was afraid of the repercussions of this kind of discussion in a public forum. Today, I saw Calvin handle a very public discussion in a more respectable, respectful, and heart-wrenchingly balanced, near-miraculous way than I would have ever thought possible at such a so-called "conservative" school. I am more grateful for Calvin and the way it handles LGBT stuff than I could ever have imagined I would be. Calvin is just conservative enough that I'm continually forced not to hate conservatives and just liberal enough that I feel what seems like a million times safer being out (I'm bi, for those who didn't already know), a million times freer talking about things that matter more than most things to me, a million times more excited to tell my stories, and a million times more likely to find community with breathing room. I am more human now than I was a few months ago. Having other LGBT people and allies around me has changed my life. Tonight's concert served as a milestone marking this change.
The group I mentioned earlier that met them was the Calvin-sponsored LGBT support and education group that meets weekly, named SAGA (for Sexuality And Gender Awareness). We only met very briefly, but the guitarist asked us what the climate is like on campus, and we were able to respond that there's still a lot of bigotry and hate, but that there are also many very kind and reasonable conservatives, as well as a lot of allies. You could sense the bitterness they all had - Fun., the Ben&Jerry's people, merch people - that they weren't allowed to put up their Campus Consciousness booths. You see, a huge point behind this tour was to spread LGBT awareness to college campuses, advocating for Marriage Equality. They have a bag that reads GOD HATES BAGS, they have several songs about LGBT struggles - including a song called It Gets Better - they started their own non-profit called the Ally Coalition for the sake of promoting marriage equality....... and they didn't have any tables set up for it last night.
It was after their song "Can't Always Get What You Want" that lead singer Nate Ruess began to speech. He explained that there were no booths, and that they care, and that a dollar from each ticket will be donated to the Ally Coalition. There was an impecable roar of support as he said that, which lasted for about as long as the applause and cheering for the last song they'd played. And then he continued: We don't all believe the same things about God. But I think for those that believe: God loves white people, just like God loves black people. God loves men. God loves women. Here there was a pause for more outrageous applause. And I think it's time we also said that GOD LOVES GAY PEOPLE!!!"
I have not been led to believe that I would ever have the opportunity to experience this in the foreseeable future. I was very scared that Calvin would be a very closed place, and that it might be difficult. And here I was, first semester, standing next to a gay trans person and an ally - neither of which I even met through SAGA - hearing several thousand of my peers cheer more loudly than I've often heard that God loves LGBT people. It means one thing for Fun. to say that in front of that audience - that was already huge - but it was another to feel that degree of support from every person around me. You're human. We see you, and we know you're here. You matter. Your sexuality matters. God loves you not despite your orientation, but in your orientation. You are not alone, and we are not afraid to be honest enough with the world to yell it, scream it, that God loves you. Always.
I can get married to a woman in my state. I can speak openly about what I believe. I have LGBT friends and a college that cares deeply about our community here. I can be honest about who I am and what freaking amazing stuff God is doing in my life. I no longer have to be afraid I'll literally be called blasphemous and heretical for standing up for my strongest convictions. I no longer have to feel as though I ought to be more ashamed of love. We are free.
This will not always be new. This will not always be controversial. When our generation is old, this will be such an old and worn topic that our children and grandchildren will complain to us that they had another talk about it at school. I feel so blessed to witness a moment when controversy became conversation, and conversation became support. I am more excited than anything to see my friends transition, to see more friends come out, to see Calvin come out. Calvin doesn't make the greatest closet case. This won't last very long. I am confident that we will see absolutely incredible things happen before our time ends in this place.
Go in peace.
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