I Love Swear Words
Remember in Catharsis when I said that I switched my speech topic to my blog topic and my blog topic to my speech topic? Well, the tentative blog topic had been about what makes things special. The basic idea is that the rarer something is, the more special something is, and if that special thing is also good, then it becomes excellent. (I might publish the speech when I'm finished.) Here I'm focusing on precisely the opposite concept: that bad things are worse when they don't happen as frequently.
No one I know (read: have regular exposure to in real life) swears excessively. At least, not around me. That's pretty darn rare when you are seventeen years old and living in Seattle. It's always been this way since I left public school in 6th grade. My life is (technically speaking) a pretty freaking unvulgar place to live. No drink. No drugs. No parties. Ever. Literally. The faintest whiff of peer pressure. The typical cycle of teenage rebellion is a bit sedated. My life wears no sticker. I don't take credit for any of this. I was forcibly pushed into it and certainly would not have chosen it if given the power to, at that time. I don't mind in the slightest now, because I've gotten used to it... (I kind of like being able to control the amount of exposure I get, via Internet, anyways.) But I truly believe that it is for deeper reasons than security or a feeling of moral superiority that I despise excessive swearing.
It comes down to a respect for the language, a respect for the worldview impact that the way we use language has on our lives. Firstly, it is often the case that the words themselves- forget that they're vulgar- become so repetitive that you get plain sick of their sound. Like Katy Perry songs. If "shit" and "fuck" were "straw" and "flower," I would soon come to regard the words "straw" and "flower" as equally abominable from a linguistic perspective. Those vocal melodies get so overplayed. Just find a new word, people. It doesn't make you sound cool to use the same word over and over and over and over (in every sentence you utter). It just numbs people to the words' meanings when they're used in senseless contexts, it degrades the English language to an even lower state than it has already been made. Filler is no fun. If you're going to use words, mean what you say.
But people abuse swear words with other instruments than frequency alone. I get so peeved when people use vulgar words on un-vulgar things, as if it's no big deal. It IS a big deal. That's the POINT of those words. You ruin my ability to express horrible concepts and describe vile, disgusting things every time you use a swearword unnecessarily. I don't use that ability much, but I want it in my toolbox when I need it. Yeah, it's unhealthy to swear in anger, it's unkind to use them to offend or insult others. But if you casually say "oh, shit" upon dropping your pencil, I'll be internally ticked off at you too, because that was not shit. When I hear that word, I actually happen to be filled with disgust. That's what the word is intended to do, not to describe mundane objects like pencils. It seems to me like common sense, but I the word "shit" ought to be reserved for truly shitty things. Otherwise its repulsiveness just gets wasted on the air.
I am not morally - Biblically - opposed to the appropriate use of 'inappropriate' words. I've always found it somewhat fascinating how the parts of the Bible that are made the hugest deal out of by Christians are the ideas that appear once or twice in the whole thing. And I have always been so shocked to find upon further inspection that they shouldn't be used the way they are at all! Read this, it's more or less what I've been thinking. It's not like the Bible purposefully shies away from expressing horrible things with their verbal counterparts. "Filthy language," or "dirty talk," is condemned in Colossians 3:8 in a list of things like irritability and anger and malice. If I want to describe the story of a girl who grew up being raped and abused by her alcoholic stepfather, I think it is absolutely fitting to call that a fucked up story. That's not irritable, angry, or malicious in any way. If I were stuck deep in depression and were having problems at home and my grades were dropping and I felt as if the world were about to cave in on me, I think it'd be proper to say that I felt like shit. No, none of that is appropriate for children's ears. I wouldn't want my children being exposed to conversation about rape or hardcore depression in the first place.
Dark things should be discussed, though. Not inherently so: it's not like we should invent dark things in order to fulfill some natural need to talk about them. But as far as I can tell, most people are pretty screwed over already and have a plentiful supply of crap to let out all on their own. There's enough of it right in front of our eyes that we'll come across it without much effort. On several occasions, I have been told in discussions with my parents that I shouldn't focus on the darkness, because feeding with the pigs will make me one. All I can say is that if this is true, Jesus must have been the stinkiest of them all. I am not afraid to look at reality in the eye instead of trying to filter it through some lens that takes out all the bad parts. I am not afraid that I will become the darkness: I claim to walk in eternal light, don't I?
No one I know (read: have regular exposure to in real life) swears excessively. At least, not around me. That's pretty darn rare when you are seventeen years old and living in Seattle. It's always been this way since I left public school in 6th grade. My life is (technically speaking) a pretty freaking unvulgar place to live. No drink. No drugs. No parties. Ever. Literally. The faintest whiff of peer pressure. The typical cycle of teenage rebellion is a bit sedated. My life wears no sticker. I don't take credit for any of this. I was forcibly pushed into it and certainly would not have chosen it if given the power to, at that time. I don't mind in the slightest now, because I've gotten used to it... (I kind of like being able to control the amount of exposure I get, via Internet, anyways.) But I truly believe that it is for deeper reasons than security or a feeling of moral superiority that I despise excessive swearing.
It comes down to a respect for the language, a respect for the worldview impact that the way we use language has on our lives. Firstly, it is often the case that the words themselves- forget that they're vulgar- become so repetitive that you get plain sick of their sound. Like Katy Perry songs. If "shit" and "fuck" were "straw" and "flower," I would soon come to regard the words "straw" and "flower" as equally abominable from a linguistic perspective. Those vocal melodies get so overplayed. Just find a new word, people. It doesn't make you sound cool to use the same word over and over and over and over (in every sentence you utter). It just numbs people to the words' meanings when they're used in senseless contexts, it degrades the English language to an even lower state than it has already been made. Filler is no fun. If you're going to use words, mean what you say.
But people abuse swear words with other instruments than frequency alone. I get so peeved when people use vulgar words on un-vulgar things, as if it's no big deal. It IS a big deal. That's the POINT of those words. You ruin my ability to express horrible concepts and describe vile, disgusting things every time you use a swearword unnecessarily. I don't use that ability much, but I want it in my toolbox when I need it. Yeah, it's unhealthy to swear in anger, it's unkind to use them to offend or insult others. But if you casually say "oh, shit" upon dropping your pencil, I'll be internally ticked off at you too, because that was not shit. When I hear that word, I actually happen to be filled with disgust. That's what the word is intended to do, not to describe mundane objects like pencils. It seems to me like common sense, but I the word "shit" ought to be reserved for truly shitty things. Otherwise its repulsiveness just gets wasted on the air.
I am not morally - Biblically - opposed to the appropriate use of 'inappropriate' words. I've always found it somewhat fascinating how the parts of the Bible that are made the hugest deal out of by Christians are the ideas that appear once or twice in the whole thing. And I have always been so shocked to find upon further inspection that they shouldn't be used the way they are at all! Read this, it's more or less what I've been thinking. It's not like the Bible purposefully shies away from expressing horrible things with their verbal counterparts. "Filthy language," or "dirty talk," is condemned in Colossians 3:8 in a list of things like irritability and anger and malice. If I want to describe the story of a girl who grew up being raped and abused by her alcoholic stepfather, I think it is absolutely fitting to call that a fucked up story. That's not irritable, angry, or malicious in any way. If I were stuck deep in depression and were having problems at home and my grades were dropping and I felt as if the world were about to cave in on me, I think it'd be proper to say that I felt like shit. No, none of that is appropriate for children's ears. I wouldn't want my children being exposed to conversation about rape or hardcore depression in the first place.
Dark things should be discussed, though. Not inherently so: it's not like we should invent dark things in order to fulfill some natural need to talk about them. But as far as I can tell, most people are pretty screwed over already and have a plentiful supply of crap to let out all on their own. There's enough of it right in front of our eyes that we'll come across it without much effort. On several occasions, I have been told in discussions with my parents that I shouldn't focus on the darkness, because feeding with the pigs will make me one. All I can say is that if this is true, Jesus must have been the stinkiest of them all. I am not afraid to look at reality in the eye instead of trying to filter it through some lens that takes out all the bad parts. I am not afraid that I will become the darkness: I claim to walk in eternal light, don't I?
Honey, you are funny. I've got a question for you... when and where do you feel it appropriate to discuss dark things? And what determines whether or not the topic is appropriate for the audience? Just curious. For instance, is there a christian testimony that might involve stigmatic things that should be edited? Or is it those very things that proves the love and power of God? I have my own opinions, I'm just interested in hearing yours.
ReplyDeleteI discuss darkness often... apparently, it likes me more than I'd prefer. I prefer light, but in this world, darkness is MUCH easier to find.
It is appropriate to discuss dark things when they are a part of our lives, in order to share our lives and our stories with each other. It's appropriate in showing a deep sympathy or understanding for another person's situation, or in describing your own if there is no other way that will express the situation accurately.
ReplyDeleteIt's difficult to put into words how you would know what topics would be appropriate for which audiences. The line is fuzzy, and eventually shades of grey fall into place based on personal judgement. Take vulgar vocabulary out of the issue and it's still grey: would you discuss something complicated, like self-injury, with your six-year-old? I wouldn't, especially not as I would with a friend my own age.
I believe the "stigmatic things" shouldn't be edited out for precisely that reason: because they help to prove the love and power of God. God included the stuff he included in our stories for a reason, and leaving pieces out solely because it's taboo to include it is like insulting God's storywriting skills. Now, if you're eliminating it because it's not tactful or courteous in the audience you're speaking, that's a different matter. But there is a difference between gratifying the audience's desire for a politically-correct atmosphere and respecting other people in love.
Please share your opinions, if you don't mind.
Darn, I included a couple passages that didn't get included because I put them in the wrong type of brackets. The first was stuck right after the first paragraph (http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Romans%2012:15&version=NIV) and the second after the third (http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Romans%2014:1-21&version=NIV)
ReplyDeleteMy opinions. I'm delighted you asked. :) Well, in my life, I have been closely related to people who were physically and verbally abusive, sexually permiscuous, adulterous, drug addicted, sexually invasive, suicidal and mentally ill... though the people still go undiagnosed due to their 'fear of the unknown'... or lack of belief in the medical health system. This is the edited, short version of my testimony. In that brief list, I would say that without ANY elaboration or any visual details this information could be shared with mixed high school students and up, depending on the specific group and general background of them. I have always been and will always be very sensitive not to expose anyone to some bit of darkness that they haven't been introduced to yet. For me, I think innocence and ignorance truly are two very precious and very beautiful things in the context of pain and human dispair. I think that unless someone feels truly called to seek out the ministry of diving deep into those wounds with people, that the details are much better left out for the average person, no matter the age, simply because some people's minds and emotions can't handle that sort of weight. It makes me sad, but finding a filter has been a lifelong journet for me that I am still working on.
ReplyDeleteIn addition,I wouldn't share ANY of this testimony with junior highers, though, I do tend to vere on the ultra protective side when it comes to children. With junior highers, I would stick to stories of wounded self-esteem and peer pressure. Sure, there is the exception-to-the-rule middle school student that experiences one or two of these things (...I did) but, I think in general, it's best to leave that stuff up to them to disclose to adults in confidence.
I wouldn't share the vivid details in any public testimony, but would share them with one or two people who have a need to feel that someone has walked where they have walked. I would also share the vivid details with someone who has offended others, because I have seen how the damning power of self-hatred can be lifted from someone when they hear from a victim of their behavior that they can be forgiven and there is love and hope and forgiveness waiting for them. God can use any brokenness in anyone and often does, to show His power, His majesty, and His love and beauty. I'm still sorting through the storms of my youth, and the consequencial bad behaviors of my (self) medicated past, but I do believe that one day God will bless me with the opportunity to share my testimony. And when I do, it will be filled with His merciful, loving, restorative hope and glory, and when that day comes, I truly believe that my life will start to make more sense.
What do you think?
When you're looking at it from the perspective of a large audience, I do think that on certain rare occasions- a formal speech, at a church service or something, for example- it is appropriate to give the vaguer version to middle schoolers. That's the age when kids start to go through crap most often. They should be aware before they encounter it, because otherwise it simply aggravates the problem. I do agree with you in that we shouldn't be exposing children to darkness they've never heard of and are not likely to encounter. But a certain awareness is valuable, even for children.
ReplyDeleteInstead of giving the detailed, graphic, explicit version of a story- let's say yours- a version even more simplified than the one you gave could be fitting. Eg: "In my life, I've known people that have been really hurtful, and sometimes in very inappropriate ways. They did bad, immoral things. Some couldn't stop doing drugs, some weren't loyal to their husbands/wives, and others were so sad they didn't even want to live anymore. None of them got help for it, though, because for some reason they don't trust the doctors and people that could make them better." Forgive me if my interpretation isn't as accurate or as concise as you'd like it, but I believe this content is totally appropriate for kids about age 7 and up. I do think it's important for kids to understand from a very young age that things like depression and suicide and orientation/gender identity exist, though, because these issues affect kids, too, though we might not want to acknowledge it.
I agree that the full story probably should only be told to a select audience. But that doesn't mean it shouldn't be told at all.
I concur, dear girl. I suppose it could be told to young ones, in the right format, in the way you so eloquently and beautifully simplified. In addition, yes, it is accurate enough. ~Andrea~
ReplyDeletePS- my other notes, as you requested I sign, are
on Narrow Gate, Lies, and Estella and Simplicity.